No one reads.

CANNOT TAKE IT ALREADY. HELP ME. AHH.

2dae so siao. SO SIAO. UNTIL I CANNOT TAKE IT.
mood swing until so dramatically.

hais. juz becuz of one qns, i quarrel wif fren. like.. wth rite. sian.
i asked him whether he gt think of names for his children before anot.. like think for the future lah. then he sae gt ah.. so.. yea.. then i also tell him mine...

bt then.. he reply sae... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... so old school.

then i like.. wtf.. i didnt eeeeee ur names.. then u go eeeee mine...

i like.. spend so much time thinking of nice names.. then juz one eeeeeeee.. wah.. like so unfair like tat.
sigh. dunno lar.

u got think before mah? names. its abit too early lar, bt its fun. lols.

mine i got think leh.

Xavier. nice hor. lols.

aiya. juz a lame post before i go take my afternoon nap. k... off i go. *poof*


im gone.

that post so emotional like tat. siao liao.

shit.. i think i flunked my english oral. bt heck lar. Over liao.

2dae... nth much... im still trying to sort out what that weird feeling is... bt i think im gonna take a LONG time to figure that out.. bt i dun care, i will still try to...

2dae very tired also... i dun think my panda eyes will ever go away... i dun think i can stay normal.. as in normal eyes.. nt panda eyes... sigh... holidaes also gt panda eyes... school days? dunnid sae liao.. surely gt.. SIGH.

as im typing this, im already in the half asleep mode... *shakes head* STAY AWAKE!
k.. lame shit... bt.. wateva lar.

hw to get rid of panda eyes! tell me.. help me.. cannot stand it already. like.. no jing shen like that.. not gd.. muz hab jing shen then gd..

cannot tahan already. very tired. bt nw 9pm onli... so early..

think im going to fall sick soon... warm warm one.. bt like that also gd.. go sch very stress.
how i wish i can stay at home all the time.
i want to graduate ASAP... i want.. i cant wait...
dunno gt how many months of holiday... can play until siao... bt the prob is... HAVEN EVEN EOY YET. argh.

quick.. i wan go sec4.. then quickly do O'lvls... then quickly pass... then quickly posted to poly... then quickly leave sec. sch... quick quick quick..

sigh. every part of my body is aching nw. siao one. do push ups also can become like that... everywhere ache. i long time didnt exercise liao, perhaps.
30 pushups... 2 endurance one.. siao...
leg pain ah... sian.

sigh. find sum day harpy go out together.. bt.. todae.. SIGH~
px like change liao... SIGH~
i dunno lar, its juz this feeling that she change liao.
todae i go her class, as usual, to borrow the oral communication book, then be4 that, i got msg her.. sae.. " ur eng end le ma." and " lend me 2 books." bt there isnt any reply.
then i juz went over to her class, then through the window, i sae.. " px, lend me ur book." then she sae.. " i lend atikah liao."

bt.. she juz like... hw to sae ah.. i gt this feeling that she like.. the way she reply like.. juz ying chou me like that.. i dunno hw to describe.. bt its like.. she reply without realli looking at my direction lor... she juz turn look then haven finish wat she is saeing, she look at sumwhere else liao.. like.. sigh. i dunno lar.

then every morning i will msg her de mah.. sae.. meet at carpark all these. then i always start wif.. where u.. then she will reply ah.. then i sae.. meet at carpark ah. then she wont reply liao.. sumtimes she will lar, bt sumtimes no. i dunno.. maybe she didnt noe that she receive a new msg. aiya. i dunno.

even if she realli change, i cant do anything abt it.

im realli starting to lose hope liao. bt.. does it realli matter, when she dun seem to cherish it at all... maybe she even forgot that harpy exists. ah.

wan go then juz go lar. i cant hold her back.. which i tot i could.

when i mean loneliness, i mean alone... by myself.. no one around... nt that kind of loneliness, u noe. that type no bf/gf de loneliness.. im nt referring to that.

sigh.. 2dae dunno what came into me. suddenly feel so alone like tat. no one at home.. like.. im lost like that.. dunno wat to do... i juz watch tv the whole day.. ate my dinner... yea.

i dunno lar, i go through this almost everydae.. bt dunno why todae like so wat like tat. realli very lost...

blah. everytime i see his nick on my msn, i felt so weird. as in... weird.. nt bad de weird.. yea, wateva. k.. then.. i dunno lar, juz weird. ah. heck.

When some people sae they wanna change for the better, they realli do... bt for some people... when they sae they wanna change for the better, they seems to be always doing the same old stupid things, giving people the idea that they dun even bother to try.


kk.. this person... seriously, i dislike him alot. when i sae alot, means ALOT. i dunno.. he didnt offend me... he didnt do anything to me.. he didnt tok to me at all.. we dun even look at each other in class.. we have absolutely nth to do wif each other.. bt... i juz dislike him.

His actions, his voice, his volume, his way of trying to get attention, his face... basically everyting of he's irks me.
bt one dae.. i went to his blog.. ( i dunno why either.. i wasnt in my right mind that dae, i guess.)
and.. he signed his post as.. " XXX, the guy wanting to change for the better."
so i thought, hmm.. maybe hes a nice guy afterall, he knew he nid to change.. he knew that he cannot continue this way.. at least, he knows.
yea.. ever since that dae, i changed my view of him...
but...

HE JUZ STAYS THE SAME WAY AS HE IS BEFORE. like WTH.
i mean like, if u sae u want change rite.. at least show some enthusiasm in it. as..in.. dun juz SAY.. muz ACTION also. juz by saeing doesnt help u change u noe... action helps.
bt.. that guy simply juz doesnt seem to be doing anything. he continue toking in some irritating way... he continues making stupid jokes.. he continues making stupid actions, trying to get attention... he continues toking in a LOUD voice..., he continues doing everything that irks me.

and that makes me DISLIKE him even MORE.

i hate ppl who sae this and do another thing. u say, u bloody go do it.
dun say say for song, then song liao, juz leave it alone.. like as if u didnt sae be4.
like wtf lar. you, yourself sae that u want change.. bt theres like no change at all lor.
then when ppl scold u or 'discriminate' you, u indulge in self-pity again.

" why they always do this to me.. i tried to change liao rite... " wateva shit.
u got try mah.. u REALLI got try mah. u ask urself lar.
always doing the same old stupid things = got try ah..
like tat, u forever will stay the same de lor...
pls lar... stop it can... dun like always indulge in self-pity.. yea.. i noe.. it hurts.. it realli hurts.. bt.. why wont u change? if u change, it will stop, wouldnt it?

so... u deserve it. u noe that it hurts, yet u dun wanna change. its actually ur own fault that things became this way. so stop blaming others lar.. stop saeing that others are being mean to u... didnt spare a thought for u... DID U EVER SPARE A THOUGHT FOR US ANOT.
u say lar. SAY.

i had enough, seriously.

Common test was juz over.. bt.. im like.. still so stressed out. I think its nt because of the common test bah.. i also dunno.. its like.. im suddenly very tired... theres too much thoughts running through my head till i cant realli take a rest, u noe. it has always been this way.. some random things juz went through my head.. the past, the present, the future. The past... was a painful experience.. the present... isnt quite a gd one either... the future... im afraid to noe.
cuz like.. if u go through it for a few times, u are afraid of experiencing it once more... so u run away from it.. juz like me. i dun wanna noe.

i have heard from some ppl that if a guy stares at u, means he likes u.. i mean.. uh.. that is one way to see if a guy is interested in u. bt i find it dam silly lor.. stare? juz by staring, u can actually noe what a person think? ridiculous.
maybe that guy stare at u cuz ur face got sumthing wat... or maybe cuz he is staring at sumwhere thats near you, eg. the person beside you or juz staring into space.. then u tot that hes staring at u. i mean, if like that, there will be like ALOT of misunderstandings le lor.

so.. hw? hw can u actually noe what a person think? i dun think theres a way to know.. unless u go and sae.. " eh, what u thinking ah. tell me leh." bt.. its still possible that it wont work out.
sum thoughts are better to keep to oneself.. its personal...

aiya. wat post is this. wth.